Back to Egypt-First days...

December 28^th, 2011

I arrived in Cairo for the second time after 2 years of being away on December 28^th. I came to be with my Beloved after being apart for a long 7 months and to continue my studies with Holmes Institute for global ministries. I have always had the adventurous spirit, a travelling nature, wanting to explore the world, connecting with new cultures, languages, people. As Emad and I walked through the airport doors, I again could smell the nostalgia of Egypt’s ancient and earthly lands…well, and mixed with the smells of gasoline and dust of course;) We drove to Heliopolis, where my new home awaited me, a two bedroom apartment near the famous Heliopolis Square and Al Fatah Mosque. The first few days of being in Egypt brought a mix of emotions. I have become aware very quickly how easy it is to see everything about a culture and place unlike your own comfort and familiarity, what is wrong, not working. It is normal to differentiate, to try to process all that you are seeing and feeling. My processing has come in so many mixed forms from frustration to anger, sadness, to confusion and apathy. I have felt over time that I have come to know this culture, the traditions and ways. Yet, I am seeing even with my knowledge of Islam, religions, this particular culture, I still have so very much to learn. Seeing women covered in their hijabs(the scarf that covers only the head) or in their full niqab(covers the head and face) has become so natural, so normal to me, yet I know back home women would be judged or seen as suspect for this. In the west we have so many judgments about it because I don’t think we fully understand what it is all about. Women have the choice here to cover or not to cover. For some it is cultural, for others religious. It is interesting that the minute I think I’ve come to understand the reasoning for many things here, I come to find that I know nothing, and it is just as complicated as it was when I had no answer. It is best not to jump to conclusions and to simply accept people as they are, for what they are.

I’m awakened every morning at 4am by the call to prayer outside my window, as the windows here are simply barriers to block the wind I swear! I can hear everything from the stray cats outside screeching, the dog endlessly barking every night at 1am, the banging of everything and anything from across the street, street horns and kids playing, to men yelling into the morning air “Fhool” or “aaayy” for the Egyptian carbohydrate packed beans, spices, and pita for breakfast to God knows what they’re saying!:) Maybe I should move my morning meditation time to the 4am call to prayer as I’m up anyway! Oh my goodness….the adjustments. The walking everywhere is a great addition to my life though, and Im finding little shortcuts to get to different places in my neighborhood, and there is a mosque I can cut through their back way through the gate to the street beyond. Egyptian furniture looks archaic, ancient, just as this country is…beautifully painted in golds and silvers, extravagant, yet nothing matches anything else. My bathroom is pink, and my bedroom walls are bright orange, but the dark wood furniture is pretty nice themselvesJ There is no dryer here, so I get to practice my techniques again of hang drying all my clothes on the line praying they don’t fall to the ground below amidst the trash. Yes…trash..there is A LOT of it. I know this is all over the planet. I was just telling Emad the other day how ironic it is that Muslims have the belief and many cultures actually, that the pig is a filthy nasty animal because it eats trash, hence the reason they do not eat pork…They find it to be an unruly animal that should not be eaten. Yet….there is trash everywhere here, people throw it out in their streets, in their homes, expecting their mothers to clean up after them. Thrown out without even a thought that they too are “eating trash” living in it, coping with it, our planet Earth doing all it can to compensate for it all. How ironic…the collective is just misinformed or not informed at all. It isn’t just in Egypt..It’s everywhere…in the US too. I just notice it more so here when our taxi driver throws his bag of chips right out the window as though it were bathwater. Whew.

So with the cultural shock that comes with a move such as this, there is the shadow and the light. Oh, I’ve seen much of the dark, and it is what I’m speaking of now. The gaze of the male population here that stare so much I feel invaded and totally transparent as a woman. It isn’t that they stare, it is HOW they stare. This is something I want to become more awake about. What is it exactly that makes people stare, so blatantly, so obviously, so in your face without restrictions, limitations, boundaries? Or is it completely okay to stare as we are curious beings, it isn’t a crossing of a boundary but just intrigue at one’s coloring or the differences in another? Is it that they never see foreign women except on television or movies, magazines, etc ? Is it the unspoken repression of sexuality and homosexuality, the certain taboos that just aren’t talked about here, that provoke this curiosity and lack of the notion of personal space. Perhaps there is no understanding of personal space? I’m exploring all these issues, and perhaps I’m completely wrong about them all. Yet, internally, I’ve had a mixture of accepting it as the way it is, not taking it personally, to feeling completely disrespected by it, undressed physically by it, degraded and angry for it, and flat out ready to spit in someone’s face for daring to touch me on the streets. I was told by a close friend from her past experiences here that the only time women really cry openly is when someone has died. Otherwise, they tend to keep to themselves emotionally speaking. This is probably a big generalization, however, I found it interesting to note. She also said that if a man started to harass me on the streets, to get very angry at him, cursing him, and that would most definitely scare him awayJ not only that, but the other men on the streets would come to my rescue…-the same men who cant keep their eyes to themselves! J wow…. On a positive note, this trip around, I do have hot water unlike my living in Ukraine some of the time, my hairdryer is semi-working with my adapter, and my iron completely blew up. That is travelling for youJ The food is so delicious, but I have yet to find hummus that is up to par! I WILL find it thoughJ

What keeps coming to my mind in the midst of seeing the things that are difficult, hard, ridiculous, maybe crazy, and chaotic…is that I am repeating this phrase in my head of “How can I see good or God in this other person and in these things around me that appear to be just the opposite?” In the collective consciousness of people everywhere, there is the unconscious, those that are sleep-walking, not aware of the impact they have on the planet and are unaware of their own inner authentic power to make a big difference in the world. It isn’t all, but as a huge collective it is…we consume, we are divisive, fear driven, manipulative, greed filled, etc and the list goes on, looking out for our own. Such is the human condition much of the time. The task to see God in another or see how we are connected as one big human family is the task. Even when I’m complaining of the leaking pipes, the pollution or traffic, the way the systems don’t work the way I think they should….am I seeing that we are separate or all part of the same family? Can I see the God in them too? Can I even try? This helps me keep perspective..that in fact, these things also exist in my own country too, they are just less hidden and I’ve found a way around them, yet they are still there. There is the light and the dark-we need them both to reveal the light unto the dark, to reveal the disowned aspects even of my own self.

For days, once the dream of 3 days of settling and vacation with Emad, he had to go back to work, which left me here at home to work and just prepare. I have been afraid since the incident on the streets, to go out alone, not sure who I could trust. It is a very unsettling feeling to think you cant trust anyone, don’t speak the language, don’t know your way around. This first week hasn’t been all roses. But I am doing what I can and taking baby steps. I know this takes time. We have a doorman named Salah who takes care of our trash and anything I might need. Not only that but I’ve met a few people in the local markets who have said that any time I need groceries, cheese, meat, etc, I can call and they will deliverJ small fee of course. I have extra security in my apartment, with an intercom phone in my flat that will allow people to enter the building, otherwise they cannot get in. The outside to most apartments is not so nice looking, ghetto like, the color of concrete or dirt..not your typical house with green grass and nice fence, etc. The streets are narrow, and in my neighborhood, it appears there are pharmacies on every cornerJ I finally got up the courage yesterday to go out on my own and take a walk to the markets nearby to purchase my own fruit and veggies. It is funny to watch how people react when they ask you where you are from and you say “America.” Their eyes get big and they say, ‘Welcome to Egypt. Glad you are here.’ Everyone in the market was very friendly and trying to speak to me with my little Arabic and their little English. I will, in time, learn more Arabic. I have never seen avocadoes and mangoes that big in my life! The mangos were the size of small Nerf footballs. J Remember those? The next steps are going to be: crossing the road on my own and getting in a taxi. There are very few traffic lights here, and although there are lines in the road, no one follows them. Most drivers use their horns constantly to warn others they are coming and their side mirrors are pushed in so that the car next to them wont hit them. Haha..it is so crazy, I cant even begin to tell you how scared I’ve been to cross the street! But I’ve done it!! It is like a game of Jenga or something to see how everything can fit together with cars and then the people walking STRAIGHT INTO TRAFFIC! They manage to do it without even flinching! Then there’s the taxi….I’ll be fine with that one, although my Arabic must get better.

For New Year’s Eve, Emad and I went into Zemalek, a nicer area of Cairo filled with mostly foreigners, to the Cultural Wheel, a cultural center there. We watched the world’s famous oud player, Naseer Shamma, loved and revered in Egypt. He and his band called “Imagination” played us into the New Year, playing new and old well-known songs to the Egyptian people. It was so beautiful to see all classes and ages of people there, singing their songs together. He even played their national anthem at the end, which is shown in the video below, and they all stood in honor and pride singing. J I even had one of the Egyptian Presidential candidates sitting behind us in the audience. Tahrir Square was filled with thousands of people led by Christians and joined by Muslims to celebrate the New Year with candles and dancing. It was such a sight to see! I walked through Tahrir Square a few days ago, and it was calm, quiet, but really amazing to feel the energy there after all that has happened in this place. We also took an afternoon to visit Khan Al Khalili Bizarre and the famous Al Azhar Mosque, shown here.

I’ve had the chance this past week to catch up with new and old friend s here over coffee, have sat in the various ‘ahawas’, coffee shops outside with their mint tea and sheesha(hookah). Next up is the Sufi Dancing that I will go see this evening…Looking forward to more exploration of Cairo and the southern part of Egypt to follow soon.

It is in times such as these, when adjusting to such a big change for me here, to be gentle with myself..to remember that people are people everywhere, to trust in my own inner knowing that I am guided and protected…and to step back and see where I am being judgmental, biased. It is an opportunity to use what I know and have learned thus far in spiritual practice and becoming more awake. Oh, what an opportunity to grow! Again….. J Til next time……. Love, Savi